Hah! And again I say, Hah! I just got off the phone with AT&T Broadband, that heap of pestulant dingo dung, and I am flush with karmic victory. The silly eegits left a cryptic message on my answering machine -- please call us, said the computer-generated voice. Hmmm. OK, no problem. I get transfered to a customer service agent who says that the system sayd my bill is past due. She's very stern. I think I'm suposed to be either scared or apologetic. Hah. Not likely.

"Oh really," I say. "Does your system also mention that you owe me credits for all the multitude of problems I've been having with your service since about September?" I am the soul of sweetness and light.

"Let me check," she says. Silence. Typing. "Hmm." More silence. More typing. Hey, I'm in no rush, I can wait.

"OK, I see we owe you $44.95 for this problem... and you've got a credit for $34.99 for this... and there are those $20 credits for when the service tech was late... and that credit from October... and that credit from November..." More silence. "OK, it looks like you're all right. Sorry to disturb you."

"Not a problem," I say, still sweetness and light. Then I hang up the phone, scream "Yes! Bastards!" and celebrate my victory over the stupidity of AT&T Broadband.

I'm almost disappointed I didn't get any kind of an arguement from them, however. I was waiting to tell her that I pay my bills online, and I can't do that since my cable modem keeps going out.