Why my friends really should not have access to the phone.

Phone rings.
Me: Hello?
Mysterious stranger: (who sounds remarkably like Lotti using a thinly disguised voice) Is this the Sarah Jersild of Jersild Day?
Me: Yeeeesssssss.....
MS: We're calling with an exciting opportunity for Jersild Day -- we'd like to align your holiday with our religion.
Me: I'm sorry, I can't do that.
MS: Even if it means you could make millions of dollars?
Me: No, that's everything Jersild Day stands against. Goodbye.
MS: Wait! It's Lotti! I was just testing you, and you came through with flying colors!
Me: Well that's a relief.
Lotti: Yeah. So you really want me to come over and watch the Olympics with your tomorrow night?
Me: Yeah.
Lotti: (Evil laughter)


Phone rings.
Me: Hello?
Angie: (screaming) Curling! Curling is a sport? Are you serious?
Me: Yes, it's a sport.
Angie: (still screaming) I thought it was a joke! I thought I'd turned to Comedy Central instead of MSNBC!
Me: Nope, it's an Olympic sport.
Angie: It makes me tired! I have to go to bed now! The other sports make me want to go to the gym or lift weights or something, but this just makes me want to go to bed! It's 8:34!
Me: Bummer.
Angie: So, what, it's just sweeping? We could do this! You and me and Wendy -- she's a Mormon, she's got pull in Salt Lake City...
Me: I think the competition ends today.
Angie: Oh. So four years from now! It's not like getting old is going to be a problem. Seriously, it's just trying to get a thing on the bullseye?
Me: I don't really get it, but yeah, I think that's it. Like bocce ball on ice.
Angie: You can't even hurt yourself! Well, you could probably hurt yourself, as there is ice.
Me: Thanks
Angie: Hee. You'd be the only curler wearing a helmet.
Me: Hah.
Angie: I mean, if this is a sport, you should make hopscotch a sport. There's chalk, and you have to jump on one foot.
Me: They were talking about making darts a sport...
Angie: Well yeah, at least you can hurt yourself with darts.
Me: Ow. Pointy.
Angie: Seriously. You and me and Wendy and my dog. We can do Olympic curling.
Me: I'll keep that in mind.
Angie: I'd never seen it before. I thought it was like lacrosse, or the throwing game with the curly thing...
Me: Jai Alai
Angie: Yeah. That's a sport. No ice, though.
Me: You so need to come watch the Olympics here tomorrow.
Angie: I need to go to bed.