Chicago river: Still far too green. Make it stop.

From Jorge, my brother-in-law:

International Health Study

• The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
  
• On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
  
• The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
  
• The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

Conclusion: Eat & drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.

I should emphasize that Jorge is a native Spanish speaker who also teaches French, so he may be a little biased.