I was talking to my sister Laura, who will be having a boy in November, about gifts for the kid. In trying to distract me from noisy toys, she said: "Get us books and videos in Spanish." (Jorge, her husband, is Puerto Rican and they both taught Spanish) And I said great, but I'm also getting him Alice in Wonderland in English, because I want to read it to him. The following conversation ensued:

Laura: Are you sure? He's a boy.
Me: What are you talking about? It's a great book. I still read that book.
Laura: Don't you think it's a little... feminine?
Me: [foaming at the mouth] What? It's one of the greatest children's books of all time!
Laura: Yeah, but it's about a little girl wandering around... I don't want my kid being made fun of on the playground because of Alice in Wonderland...
Me: Wha... bu.... gah...Wait. It's a great book. A GREAT book. It's for everyone.
Laura: [Skeptical silence]
Me: Well, look, if it makes you feel better, there are beheadings. And hell, I'll be getting him a subscription to Ms. if that's your attitude...
Laura: Hey, I'm not painting trucks on the wall of the nursery or anything. We're going to raise him to be a good kid, and to treat everyone equally. But there's a difference between masculine and feminine.
Me: Sure, whatever. [In my head, I'm already planning my wacky-bohemian-aunt-Sarah-field-trips to Seneca Falls and the Museum of Menstruation and Michelle Yeoh film festivals and the like.]

I sometimes wonder if we're actually related. How could you not love Alice in Wonderland? Who cares if it had a female protagonist? (Or if it's about a drug trip, or if the author was maybe a little too enamored with the idea of young girls in general?) It's a fantastic book, and it's on my list of all-time great kids books, along with Where the Wild Things Are and The Velveteen Rabbit and Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day and so much more.

The thing is, we wouldn't be having this conversation if she were having a girl. I don't think she'd object to any book being too "masculine." We read Tom Sawyer and Treasure Island and all the rest growing up, because they're good books. I can't imagine anyone objecting to a girl reading books with male protagonists. I mean, that stuff is cool, right? Everybody gets into that. Girls are allowed to like books about boys, but girl stuff -- stories about girls --are still just girl stuff.

I don't have a kid, so I don't know what the standard practice is. Are you not supposed to read "girlie" books to boys? (I can understand not wanting to ply a boy with Barbie's Plastic Surgery Adventure, but hell, I wouldn't get that for a girl, either.) And is a a"girlie" book any book with a female protagonist, regardless of what she goes through? That seems so... limiting. And unfair. And silly. And insulting. Because it's saying "god forbid a boy should want to read about anything a girl does -- that's not important stuff, that's not real life." Bullshit.

And does that carry over into adult books? Is serious literature only about man stuff? Any book about a woman is a chick book or a beach book or otherwise not serious literature? A woman's life can't be an epic life?

No. Hell no. My nephew will be getting Alice in Wonderland, and Harriet the Spy, and Ramona Quimby, and the Wizard of Oz, and all the rest.

And here's the weird part: My sister and brother-in-law really aren't sexist. None of us growing up were frilly-dress girly-girls -- my sisters were tomboys and I was a Star War/fantasy book geek. There was running and playing and skateboarding and doing whatever we wanted, "feminine" or no. Laura and Jorge today travel the world and camp in grizzly bear country and generally kick ass. She's an amazing nature photographer, and she doesn't just sit back and look decorative to get her shots. And if her knee-jerk reaction is "Alice in Wonderland isn't for boys," what happens with all the folks who really do believe that girls should be frilly and boys should be macho and never the twain shall meet? Does that mean most boys never get to read this book? That's such a shame.

What is the standard practice? What do you read your children? Why? Is there a difference between girls' books and boys' books, or are there just great books?