Well this is unacceptable. Tripp -- he of the every-six-month-update, procrastinator extraordinaire, a veritable poster child for "I'll get to it later" -- has accused me of being on virtual vacation. I presume this is because I occasionally let a day lapse between posting (and it may have something to do with his position in my right column.) Very funny, smart guy.

There's only so much to talk about -- I'm hustling for freelance work, trying to get my financial house in order (I even went to see the accountant yesterday, who told me to chill, basically), etc. etc. How many times do you people want to read about me exhorting you to hire me?

Let's assume you can stand it at least one more time. Because it's time to announce an exciting contest open to all: Yes, it's time for Sell Sarah's Services!

So here's the deal: Anyone out there who gets me a contact that leads to a freelance job gets a fabulous prize.

• Those in the Chicagoland area get dinner for four, cooked by me, at your abode.
• Those outside driving distance get a lovingly handmade selection of gourmet cookies, which may include cranberry/white chocolate biscotti, orange-hazelnut mandelbrot, my dad's famous peanut-butter chocolate chip, Grand Marnier truffles, and more.
• In all cases, we can consult on the menu/selection.

Plus, you get added to my Christmas cookie list, which is a privilege yearned-for throughout the ages. And, and! you get a special mention is this very blog. How can you resist?

All you need to do is get me a contact that leads to work. A reasonably clean version of my Hire Me! site is up at www.sarahjersild.com. (Thanks to Rich, Susan, Julie, Andy and Wendy for their suggestions/corrections.) The next time you run into anyone saying "Gee, if only I knew of a fabulous writer/editor with reasonable rates who could take on this project that's staring me in the face," say "I know just the person!" and send them to my site.

Here's where assignments might be hiding:

• Your marketing department needs to put together a brochure.
  
• Your company needs to add pages to its web site or intranet, but no one has time to wade through the masses of information that might be useful.
  
• A charity you work with needs to put out a press release.
  
• You need a white paper proofread.
  
• You're updating a practices manual at work, and need an editor.
  
• Your boss wants to increase her standing in the professional community by publishing articles in trade publications, but doesn't have time to write them herself.
  
• Your local newspaper is looking for book reviewers. (It could happen.)
  
• You desperately want someone to watch and recap every single Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode ever made. (Hey, it's worth a try.)

You get the idea. Any editorial-type freelance assignment that pays -- writing, editing, proofreading, content development, etc. -- is something I'm interested in. Get me the job and you get some kick-ass food. And my eternal gratitude. What more could you ask?

Feel free to e-mail me if you have any questions. I know, I know, this is a piss-poor excuse for schmoozing, but this is how I do it best. Cold calling and walking up to total strangers makes me break out in hives.