Among the many joys of un/self-employment is the opportunity it affords you to conduct vital scientific research. My planned and ongoing research includes:

• How long does it take someone working from home all the time to start talking to herself?
  About 30 minutes, but I tend to talk to myself anyway.
  
  
• How long will a telemarketer stay on the line when you are obviously just fucking with them?
  I'm leaving this research to Lotti.
  
  
• How long before the cat stops seeing you being here all the time as a plus and starts seeing you as an annoyance?
  Research pending
  
  
• How long before you stop seeing the cat as an adorable furball and start seeing her as an impediment to work, especially when she insists on jumping up on your keyboard at random intervals?
  Research pending
  
  
• How many days can I go without showering before I
  (1) need to venture into a situation in which being icky would be an impediment
  or
  (2) actually gross myself out?
  Current record: Three. And it's always been because I have to see other people.

The things I do for the betterment of humanity.