Bad Sarah. Bad blogger. Must make amends. Vegas stuff follows. More on Christmas, my family and friends, and the Cutest Baby EVER coming soon. But, as Angie is ready to rip my head off, here's VEGAS, BABY!
(Note: I do not yet have access to a scanner, so the pictures will have to wait for a little while.)
My Wardrobe: 1 gold lame shirt, 1 pair velvety snakeskin-print shiny pants, 2 ruffled shirts, 1 leopard-print skirt, 1 black vinyl corset-type top.
Lotti’s Wardrobe: Much worse. The sort of crap I had, plus wigs.
John’s Wardrobe: It’s much harder to be hideously tacky when you’re a boy. John put up a valiant effort, however.
Hotel: The Flamingo. Huge. Violently pink-and-green tropical-print carpets. A “wildlife refuge” that consisted of half-a-dozen African penguins, a handful of flamingos, a bunch of exotic ducks (no, really – one looked like it had a mohawk) and… well, that’s about it, really.
First Big Vegas Event: Lotti, John and I went to Jubilee! at the Hyatt. It’s a huge, showgirl-laden, fancy headdress, insane production values, bizarre setpiece, bad dancing, worse singing, topless Vegas show. Vignettes included Samson and Delilah (no Tom Jones, alas); a tribute to Gershwin that involved butchering Gershwin songs (swonderful….smarvelous…. sGershwin…); a patriotic salute to America; the sinking of the Titanic; and lots of songs about how women were lovely and should be consumed in great quantities, but setpieces that showed that all disasters were a woman’s fault. Oh, and tits. Lots of tits. To give you and idea of what I’m talking about: The show opened with a feathered, bejeweled woman with her arms crossed over her chest being lowered from the ceiling on a platform. She uncrossed her arms, revealing that she was topless…. And then was raised back up into the ceiling. Because she’s served her purpose, you know?
Gambling: I played some blackjack, and came out about $10 ahead. I’m sure I lost that $10 on slots. I’m not the sort of gambler Vegas wants – I decide how much money I’m gong to play, and when I lose it, I stop. When I win, I put aside my original stake so I can walk away from the table with it. Boring, but sensible.
First Total Geek Moment: Lotti, John and I got up early to go to the noon showing of LOTR: The Two Towers. We’d bought our tickets well in advance, but the theater was not full. I was semi-horrified. Mini-review: Homina homina homina homina. I’m still in love with Legolas, of course. I thought they did a great job on Gollum, and I liked the Ents. Wasn’t so happy what they did with Gimli. The floating Aragorn sequence – I understand why they put it in, but eh. Arwen’s dream sequence: No objection, it’s in an appendix of the book. Yes, I read the appendices. John and I geeked out afterwards, comparing book to screen. Life was good.
Second Big Vegas Event: The Flamingo is home to the strip’s “only afternoon topless show,” Bottom’s Up. It’s been running for almost 40 years. You can tell. Lots of tits, lots of horrible jokes, lots of worse dancing. It was worth going just for Lotti’s outfit, however. I will definitely post that picture when possible. Terrifyingly, several people in the theater were laughing their asses off – apparently sincerely. Oy.
Lotti Freaks Out the Entertainers, Part One: Dawn had joined us by then. We bopped around a bit, went to the Mandalay Bay to look at the sharks, and met Tim and Lindsey for drinks. We ended up at Nefertiti’s at the Luxor, whereupon we repaired to a lounge right off the check-in floor. Lotti, in leopard-print pants and a black wig that kept sliding off, did such Nomi-esque dancing that she caused one of the singers to lose her place in the song, several times. I think it was the pole dance that finally did the singer in.
Bridesmaids R Us: Dawn and I had found a store selling tiny little tiaras the day before, so we incorporated them into the bridesmaid attire. Dawn, Liz, Heather and I were all very shiny. Teased hair, lots of eyeshadow, cleavage everywhere… you get the idea. Again, those pictures will be posted.
Celebrity Guests: When we go to the Elvis chapel, we were greeted by Tim and Lindsey…and oh my, what a sight they were. Tim was sort of a pimpin’ cowboy, while Lindsey… Lindsey WAS Seigfreid of “and Roy” fame. He even had a stuffed white tiger with him. It was FABULOUS. Apparently, people saw him in the lobby of their hotel and scurried over to one of the staff to ask if it was really him. Again, pics to come.
Lotti (and co.) Freaks Out The Entertainment, Part 2: We made the Elvis laugh. The ceremony was videotaped, and Lotti, as Nomi, kept playing to the camera. Dave fainted at the site of Elvis’ butt, then fainted again when Elvis helped him up (that got the Elvis – he actually started laughing at that.) John had choreographed all his tough-guy wedding movies. We all sang Viva Las Vegas. The chapel people took pictures of us. Damn, it was funny.
Second Total Geek Moment: The reception was at Quark’s Bar at the Star Trek Experience. The experience featured a Klingon, a Ferengi and a Borg. After a could of drinks, the following conversation ensued:
The Rest: We traipsed out to the downtown casinos, drank, gambled and made fools of ourselves. Damn, it was fun.
(Note: I do not yet have access to a scanner, so the pictures will have to wait for a little while.)
My Wardrobe: 1 gold lame shirt, 1 pair velvety snakeskin-print shiny pants, 2 ruffled shirts, 1 leopard-print skirt, 1 black vinyl corset-type top.
Lotti’s Wardrobe: Much worse. The sort of crap I had, plus wigs.
John’s Wardrobe: It’s much harder to be hideously tacky when you’re a boy. John put up a valiant effort, however.
Hotel: The Flamingo. Huge. Violently pink-and-green tropical-print carpets. A “wildlife refuge” that consisted of half-a-dozen African penguins, a handful of flamingos, a bunch of exotic ducks (no, really – one looked like it had a mohawk) and… well, that’s about it, really.
First Big Vegas Event: Lotti, John and I went to Jubilee! at the Hyatt. It’s a huge, showgirl-laden, fancy headdress, insane production values, bizarre setpiece, bad dancing, worse singing, topless Vegas show. Vignettes included Samson and Delilah (no Tom Jones, alas); a tribute to Gershwin that involved butchering Gershwin songs (swonderful….smarvelous…. sGershwin…); a patriotic salute to America; the sinking of the Titanic; and lots of songs about how women were lovely and should be consumed in great quantities, but setpieces that showed that all disasters were a woman’s fault. Oh, and tits. Lots of tits. To give you and idea of what I’m talking about: The show opened with a feathered, bejeweled woman with her arms crossed over her chest being lowered from the ceiling on a platform. She uncrossed her arms, revealing that she was topless…. And then was raised back up into the ceiling. Because she’s served her purpose, you know?
Gambling: I played some blackjack, and came out about $10 ahead. I’m sure I lost that $10 on slots. I’m not the sort of gambler Vegas wants – I decide how much money I’m gong to play, and when I lose it, I stop. When I win, I put aside my original stake so I can walk away from the table with it. Boring, but sensible.
First Total Geek Moment: Lotti, John and I got up early to go to the noon showing of LOTR: The Two Towers. We’d bought our tickets well in advance, but the theater was not full. I was semi-horrified. Mini-review: Homina homina homina homina. I’m still in love with Legolas, of course. I thought they did a great job on Gollum, and I liked the Ents. Wasn’t so happy what they did with Gimli. The floating Aragorn sequence – I understand why they put it in, but eh. Arwen’s dream sequence: No objection, it’s in an appendix of the book. Yes, I read the appendices. John and I geeked out afterwards, comparing book to screen. Life was good.
Second Big Vegas Event: The Flamingo is home to the strip’s “only afternoon topless show,” Bottom’s Up. It’s been running for almost 40 years. You can tell. Lots of tits, lots of horrible jokes, lots of worse dancing. It was worth going just for Lotti’s outfit, however. I will definitely post that picture when possible. Terrifyingly, several people in the theater were laughing their asses off – apparently sincerely. Oy.
Lotti Freaks Out the Entertainers, Part One: Dawn had joined us by then. We bopped around a bit, went to the Mandalay Bay to look at the sharks, and met Tim and Lindsey for drinks. We ended up at Nefertiti’s at the Luxor, whereupon we repaired to a lounge right off the check-in floor. Lotti, in leopard-print pants and a black wig that kept sliding off, did such Nomi-esque dancing that she caused one of the singers to lose her place in the song, several times. I think it was the pole dance that finally did the singer in.
Bridesmaids R Us: Dawn and I had found a store selling tiny little tiaras the day before, so we incorporated them into the bridesmaid attire. Dawn, Liz, Heather and I were all very shiny. Teased hair, lots of eyeshadow, cleavage everywhere… you get the idea. Again, those pictures will be posted.
Celebrity Guests: When we go to the Elvis chapel, we were greeted by Tim and Lindsey…and oh my, what a sight they were. Tim was sort of a pimpin’ cowboy, while Lindsey… Lindsey WAS Seigfreid of “and Roy” fame. He even had a stuffed white tiger with him. It was FABULOUS. Apparently, people saw him in the lobby of their hotel and scurried over to one of the staff to ask if it was really him. Again, pics to come.
Lotti (and co.) Freaks Out The Entertainment, Part 2: We made the Elvis laugh. The ceremony was videotaped, and Lotti, as Nomi, kept playing to the camera. Dave fainted at the site of Elvis’ butt, then fainted again when Elvis helped him up (that got the Elvis – he actually started laughing at that.) John had choreographed all his tough-guy wedding movies. We all sang Viva Las Vegas. The chapel people took pictures of us. Damn, it was funny.
Second Total Geek Moment: The reception was at Quark’s Bar at the Star Trek Experience. The experience featured a Klingon, a Ferengi and a Borg. After a could of drinks, the following conversation ensued:
Me: (looking at the costumed Ferengi) I wonder how they get the thing on the back of their heads to stay on.(The answer: Subdermal magnetics. Now you know.)
Bonita: It’s a mask. You can see the join just over the lips.
Dawn: Yeah, they probably use a staple gun.
Me: No, I mean really, how does it stay on?
Dawn: I dunno, hot glue?
Me: No, I mean an actual Ferengi. How does it stay on?
Horrified silence.
Dawn: I’m just going to say two words here: Actual. Ferengi.
Me: No, I mean…
Dawn: Actual. Ferengi.
Me: Really, they tend to have figured this stuff out….
Dawn: ACTUAL! FERENGI!
Me: Oh, never mind, I’ll ask him.
The Rest: We traipsed out to the downtown casinos, drank, gambled and made fools of ourselves. Damn, it was fun.
posted by SAJ at
10:46 PM
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